grandma shit on top of the toilet
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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