Is it normal to miss your booty call?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
