Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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