Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
