I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
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