Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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