He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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