cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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