They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
