filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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