my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't put those talents on a resume
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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