Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
