Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
