Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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