dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
