I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
