I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
