ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We smell like vodka and hangover
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