Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm bleeding and have questions
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
