Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
