so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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