You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
