nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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