How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
