there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
