Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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