I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
