Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
