whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
