True but thats because hes a fetus.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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