Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need to calm my uterus...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
