when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
