A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
