Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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