I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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