Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
