I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
