I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
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I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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