We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
