So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
