Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize