I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Enjoy the penises
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
