we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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