Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I need water and some morals
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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