Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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