i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
