So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
