Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
