Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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