I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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