just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
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