New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
