Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
