did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
