You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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