did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
