A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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