This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
