i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
