I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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