but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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