I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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