loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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