ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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