i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Vodka?
Forever.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
